Eight reasons to like Mike Pence

 1. He doesn’t hate homosexuals only homosexuality.

 2. The globe will not warm if he becomes vice president.

 3. At the same time he’s almost invisible, and

 4. he's shiny like a penny. Related to that,

 5. he’s only 1% as bad as Donald Trump. (So in the currency of the Kingdom of Misogynexenophobia, it is indeed 100 pence to the trump.)

 6. His resignation as governor of Indiana elevated Count Chockula to the job.

 7. In Mississippi, his name rhymes with back fence.

 8. Good hair.