Q. Who takes the entire month of August off?

L. The country of France                                               R. The Congress of the United States

Correction: The House took off this past Wednesday and won't return until after Labor Day - a full 40 days off! (TN)

NRA Lapel Pins

Things we get in the mail:

The NRA releases its Flapping Flag Collection of Lapel Pins – cut and uncut. Sales benefit the “Don’t Get Up Till You Get a Gun Program.”

In cooperation with the There Are Things Once Seen You Cannot Unsee movement and Liberals With Weak Stomachs, Go Around Back will not be releasing pictures at this time.

This has got to be effing obvious by now, but . . .

Let me belabor the obvious, because apparently some of you have missed it. Here is the headline, byline, and first paragraph from the Washington Post online, which is where I get much of my news.

‘Why did he come here?’: Police searching for motive in deadly La. theater shooting

            By Ashley Cusick, Sarah Kaplan and J. Freedom du Lac July 24 at 4:03 PM 

LAFAYETTE, La. — A lone gunman, described by police as an out-of-state “drifter” and by a family friend as a troubled man suffering from worsening mental illness, silently stood up in a darkened movie theater here and opened fire Thursday night, killing at least two people and injuring nine others before killing himself, authorities said. (Click here for the complete story.)

Let’s subtract one element from the story.

LAFAYETTE, La. – One man without a gun, an out-of-state “drifter” according to police and a troubled man suffering from mental illness according to a family friend, stood up in a darkened movie theater here.

Not sufficiently clear, Wayne? - then: 
               and killed no one, injured no one, not a single one.

So: B is for bundling.

B

bundling • ˈbən-dlĭng

     noun

         1.   the practice in Holland, Britain, and Colonial America of wrapping one
        person in a bed accompanied by another . . . or two; traditionally, the aim
        was to allow cuddling but no funny stuff.

         2.   sleeping with someone for money, prostitution.

 Famous siblings:

 

Elmer's
W's                                                           Hugh's

NYSE surveillance photo taken with night vision camera.

Published by permission.

Hillary: I'm taking on the Wall Street bankers, too . . .

as partners in my campaign!

More guns! More guns!*

“I just can’t agree that the best we can do is pray for Chattanooga.” Hamilton County Public Defender Steve Smith on his Facebook page: “I think the best we can do is ascertain who our enemies are, whether foreign or domestic, and then kill them. . . .”

You have heard that it was said, “Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” – Jesus of Nazareth

You have heard, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” But I tell you, “Hate your enemies and revile those that persecute you. Actually, kill them if you can. – Steve of Signal Mountain




 ________________

*  « The growing signs that Abdulazeez [the man that killed four marines at a recruitment center in Chattanooga] had self-radicalized and acted alone were of little solace to many in Chattanooga who were convinced the government was not doing enough to protect them.

At Carl Poston’s family-owned gun shop, a few miles from Abdul­azeez’s home, demand for concealed-carry classes doubled in the days after the shooting. Shooter’s Depot, a gun store on the other side of town, said it had seen a fivefold increase, with as many as 100 people a day requesting spots in the gun classes. »

from Greg Jaffe and Thomas Gibbons-Neff’s not entirely unbiased report in the Washington Post online. See here.

T is for Trumped.

T

trumped • həm(p)t

     adjective

     1. screwed

     synonyms: bushwhacked, nixed on, clint on, ray-gunned

Note:Contrary to logic and the construction of the human body, it is possible to trump oneself.**

The candidate with a lunatic of aides.

Shortly after Donald Trump announced, John Niven wrote in the Scottish Daily Record & Sunday Mail (21 June 2015) that it was hard to believe and frightening to contemplate that it might not be so hard to believe or sufficiently frightening for us on this side of the pond.  After all it might not bother us so much that Trump hired actors to play cheerleaders at his campaign launch, to help broaden his “grassroots support”:

Allegations are circulating that many in attendance were actors who responded to a casting call and were paid 50 bucks a head to come down and cheer Trump.

New York-based agency Extra Mile Casting sent an email last Friday to their list of background actors, seeking extras to boost attendance at Trump’s event.

Apparently their email, obtained by The Hollywood Reporter, said: “We are looking to cast people for the event to wear T-shirts and carry signs and help cheer him in support of his announcement. This is not a traditional ‘background job’ but we believe acting comes in all forms.”

Ironically, this is exactly what America would become if Trump was to become president – a cast of extras following a lunatic around. [Though after he’s elected wearing suits and ties or starched blouses, like a “lunatic” of aides following a congressman.]

Of course, this would all simply be hysterically funny if we didn’t have to return to what I meant earlier by saying I [had] mixed feelings about Trump’s candidacy for the position of world’s most powerful leader.

There’s the tiny problem that we’re dealing with a country that not only elected Ronald Reagan but now thinks he was one of the greatest presidents in history. A country that elected not one but two George Bushes. A country now considering going again with a third Bush. That’s right – a country so deranged that Trump could actually win the bloody thing.

_______________

* L

   lunatic • ˈlo͞o-nə-tĭk

       collective noun

       1. group of aides

**So the phrase “Go trump yourself” is not nonsense when used of or yelled at politicians.

Wisconsin's "Education Governor"

Mugging for the cameras and brandishing his diploma from Marquette,

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker boasts of education deform in his state.*

_______________

* includes slashing 2$250 million from the University of Wisconsin and making sure that most K-12 school districts will get less than they did last year. For more, on the Wisconsin plan for getting dumber, see here.

Pow, baby!

The House Appropriations Committee has voted 32-19 “along largely party lines” to block funding for the CDC to research causes of gun violence. John Boehner explains: “Listen, the CDC is there to look at diseases that need to be dealt with to protect the public health. I’m sorry, but a gun is not a disease. And guns don’t kill people; people do.”

     Yeah, yeah, yeah, with guns, you bornyiguen-buckulating boehnhead!**

Do this in your best Kojak impersonation: 

Pow, baby!

And participate in Take Your Gun to Church Sunday, coming soon to a place of worship near you. (Sponsored by the House Appropriations Committee, John Boehner and Wayne La Pierre.)
_______________

* So, who were the two Democrats that crossed over? If you know how to manipulate the Appropriations Committee’s website, let us know at crabbiolio@gmail.com. Because we can’t figure it out.

**Fair and balanced. We report. You decide.

One uglier effect of global warming

Standing up for “Dixie” in Halifax
 

I wish I was in the land of cotton -
OLD TIMES there are NOT forgotten.

Walker, Wisconsin Ranger

Tweedle-dee-deet.

 

Guess who's coming to dinner?

Anyone can win, except those that can’t. Among the “rules”: 

• Sponsor may, at its option, conduct a background check on each potential winner. Sponsor reserves the right to disqualify any potential winner from receiving any prize based on such background check . . . . Sponsor will, in its sole discretion, then select one winner from the list of eligible potential winners from the Promotion Period on the basis of criteria determined and applied by Sponsor to provide for an appropriate range of views, backgrounds, and interests among the winners selected.  

Anyone can win, if they are willing to give something Hillary has never given nor will ever give for her personal appearances: 

• Except where prohibited by law, entry into the Promotion constitutes permission to use each winner's name, hometown, likeness and/or prize information, without limitation, for promotional purposes without further permission or compensation.  As a condition of being awarded any prize, except where prohibited by law, each winner consents to the use of his or her name, hometown, likeness and/or prize information, [in case you didn’t get it the first time] without limitation, for promotional purposes without further permission or compensation.

Anyone can win, but you might consider entering by “the contribution method”: 

• We are asking for a donation of up to $2,700 from individuals per election to Hillary for America. . . . To enter by contributing money to Sponsor, complete and submit the contribution form here during the Promotion Period. No minimum contribution is necessary to enter. Entering via the contribution method will not increase your chances of winning, but [nudge, nudge, wink, wink] they won’t decrease them either.