Suits

Roger Owl and Art the Cat

How does your favorite non-profit spend its money?  According to the Huffington Post, the National Football League balanced its books last year by paying its chief executive officer $35 million.  Actually you don’t have to take Huff Post’s word for it; as a non-profit, the league has to disclose its executive compensation. But, CEO Roger Goodell’s compensation is only “fair,” according to Atlanta Falcon’s owner Arthur Blank, chair of the compensation committee.  After all, it only exceeds Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein’s by $12 million; it translates to barely $47 more than $5000 per hour, assuming Goodell sleeps five hours a night and works the other nineteen every day of the year – and surely he does: the charitable work of the League, providing Roman-Forum-style entertainment for the screaming masses, demands no less.

In other news, the rumor that Showtime, whose CEO is Matthew C. Blank (no relation), will apply for non-profit status in 2015 cannot be confirmed.

Thanks to Maxwell Strachan, whose Huff post may be found here.

Disclaimer: Goldman Sachs is not a non-profit.  In fact, in 2008, it profited by receiving $10 billiion of tax-payer money. 

Roger Owl and Art Pussy-Cat went to sea

      In a beautiful lucre-green boat:

They took some money and then more money

      In the form of ten-thousand buck notes.

Roger looked up to the stars above,

      And toasted to a small guitar,

“O lovely Moolah, O Plunder my love,

  What beautiful Swag you are,

                              You are,

                              You are!

 What a beautiful Hornswoggle you are.”

The day omniscience died. See today's  “The Ambiguities.”