Monday, November 23, 2015

S is for stump speech.

S
stump speech • bən(t)-SHə-llīz
     nominal
     1. polemic with four pinnochios

as in:
Candidate (insert name here)’s stump speech paraded out to the Popejoy Elks last night was a nifty blend of flack and friction. With a nod to the Washington Post’s Glenn Kessler, we give it 

Friday, November 20, 2015

Damn those huddled masses yearning to be free

Republican candidates on Syrian refugees, closing down mosques, Christian terrorists

Ben Carson on Syrian refugees: “If there’s a rabid dog running around in your neighborhood, you’re probably not going to assume something good about that dog, and you’re probably going to put your children out of the way. Let me add that if the dog is a collie, to protect your children you’re probably going to want to shoot all collies.”

Donald Trump on closing down mosques: “We’re going to have to look at a lot of things very closely. We’re going to have to look at the mosques. We’re going to have to look at Episcopal churches. We’re going to have to look very, very carefully.” Trump went on to say that most of the Episcopalians he knew were Democrats and “very soft” on immigration issues.

Ted Cruz on who are terrorists: “There is no meaningful risk of Christians committing acts of terror.” When asked about Timothy McVeigh and Virginia Tech gunman Seung-Hui Cho, Cruz acknowledged that McVeigh was raised Roman Catholic and Cho in a Christian Church, “but both became agnostics. And yes, I would ban all agnostics . . . and Koreans,” Cruz said, “and Episcopalians.”

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

A is for alleged (falsely).

A
alleged falsely • sər-kŭm-lō-ˈkyo͞o-SH(ə)n
     periphrastic journalistic jargon
     1. lied

ex:
“Trump, later alleging — again falsely — that President Obama wanted to admit 250,000 Syrians . . . .” – Dana Milbank, “Republicans’xenophobic bidding war” – Washington Post online

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

"Verifiable Christians"

The supervisors in my crab-shaped county met in executive session last night. And the county administrator announced this morning that we will welcome Syrian refugees, but only if they are “verifiable Christians.” Their status will be “verified” by local Christians, who at the last judgment will be asking Jesus, “Just when did we see thee a stranger and did not welcome thee?”